Something missing?

Q: I keep thinking that there is something missing in me and that is why I don’t get the message clearly.  My conditioning seems to preclude access to the present clarity, which must be obvious, yet my mind clouds up the view.  I want to find my true nature and that is the most important thing for me now, more than ever before.

G: Your true essence, which it seems that your mind is trying to find is the ever-present actuality of what you always ARE.  It is silent, word-less and real.  The definition of reality is that which never changes.  Your true nature has no substance that one can touch or sense as an object because it is not an object nor a subject.  It expresses itself through the mind as the primary thought/feeling, as the words ‘I am’ – existence.  It cannot be denied or negated.  

Q: Thank you, I don’t know what you said, but it hit home (like a punch in the gut) and tears started pouring down my face. Thanks so much for responding so fast. I never expected it! I will read and re-read what you’ve said, plus the recent posts on your site.

Since writing to you, I have felt a new spark of aliveness, a lightness of step. I didn’t realize it, but it has been, until recently, as if I was wading through thick mud, one step at a time.  Thank you. 

G: The ‘me’ is resistance to ‘what is’.  Hence the sense of wading through mud.  ‘I’ means basically ‘identity’.  ‘Am’ is the verb ‘to be’.  It is the immediacy of being expressing through the mind as words.  A translation of the senses and sensation.  The sensation of ‘I am’ is the first sensation sensed.  The first impressions of being is wordless.  Space is the first ‘thing’ that appears in the seeing.  The eyes appear in space.  The fictional ‘me’ is conceptual, a story….and is secondary – it is vulnerable simply because it is not real.

All the searching for stability for the ‘I’ is conceptual – due to the sense of vulnerability of the ‘me’, which is basically a story or narration about a self-center.  Any experience or concept that appears must also disappear – so any apparent stabilized or otherwise ‘state’ that appears to be established can dissipate in an instant.  Why?  Because it’s foundations are merely conceptual.  The nature of all that appears – ‘the appearance of things’ is to appear and also disappear.  Whatever is ‘given’ will be ‘taken away’.  

Only what is real can remain as what is real.  What is not real can never become real.  You are not what you think you are.  What you are is reality – therefore that can never be lost.  You are THAT….What is-ness….as it is….no matter what the mind puts upon that.

Your true nature does not appear as a ‘thing’ simply because it is not a thing – and that is why you cannot find it.  It is no thing.  You ARE THAT and there is no need to take even one step in any direction to find your true nature.  

THAT is seeing, THAT is knowing – it is not the fabricated ‘me’ that sees or hears.  The concept ‘me’ cannot see or know anything.  The ‘me sense’ appears and disappears and therefore it cannot be what you are.

If you breath out and let the mind be silent for a moment, the natural state may well be noticed AS ‘I am That’, the natural clarity of being – non-conceptual being-ness.  Knowing and Seeing that the me is not real is natural freedom from mental games about identity and freedom from psychological suffering.

Realizing oneself is not a matter of ‘doing’ something….doing some sadana or practice.  Such activity will only ever obscure the clear and present evidence of the natural state.  Realization is not an event in time and it is not a doing of any kind. It is not ‘someone doing something’ – it is ‘pure being’, prior to the idea of being ‘someone’.   The ‘person’ is not reality! 

The implied entity obsessed with becoming something other than what it is, is a kind of madness.  

Recognize that there is NO becoming in Being.

What is, as is, is Being. Whatever you appear to ‘do’ will only have an apparent transitory ‘result’ and frustration will pop up again and again if you invest in the common ‘advancing soul’ concept.   Belief in me is the problem. See that like so many others, you have probably set up some belief in a concept of a conceptualized state of being, which has been presented as the prize to be claimed in the future….and it is all concepts taking place nowhere other than in the ‘mind’.   Look at that ‘story of me’ closely and recognize that it just a spontaneous private narrative, a habit… and recognize that it has no substance in the immediacy, other than a subtle vibration…..and so once it is seen clearly the energy will cease to flow into it in the old way.  

You cannot find the narrator ‘me’ because it is just a spontaneous appearance of concepts, subtle vibrations, thoughts, images and ideas.

All there is, is this immediacy right now and this beginning-less and endless ‘now’ is LIFE.  Life is spontaneous, forever immediate, as is, before the mind alters it conceptually.

Why do ‘people’ look for the meaning of life as if it is contained in experiences?   It is clearly obvious that all experiences appear and disappear within the expansive timelessness of life….like a dance of atoms, like flames appear upon fire.  No separation.  All is THAT.  It is all consciousness.  Nothing can possibly be separate from consciousness.

Delve into the immediate livingness, be conscious of this consciousness and find the core essence of your natural being, which is like space – not a thing!

Do not go with the mind’s tendencies to translate everything into a narrative (the story of me).  That is all conceptual and is imaginary ‘becoming’. 

Remember your true nature is not some ‘thing’ that is located in a mind.  It is silent, word-less – it is reality, pure being, existence itself.

You cannot not be that.

 

1 Comment
  1. By not leading you down a conceptual path, where you have to do all sorts of things, in order to achieve all sorts of conceptual attainments is the biggest favor a ‘teacher’ can offer. Yet so very few do that. Reality is not hidden in the future somewhere. It is here now. It is the here and now. How anyone can read the post and not recognize the obviousness of their ‘own’ clear and present word-less ‘I am-ness’ is truly amazing.