Nothing in it for me.

The contriving mask


The persona (person) is a mask.

Contriving to convince others that ‘my understanding is excellent’ is a common feature for self-centred seekers, blind to their own fixation on ‘me’. If only they could see their obsession with me clearly, they might have a chance but the self-centredness is fortified by a private and secret fear of being exposed.

In spiritual circles, a facade of ‘beautiful concepts’ masks what is going on below the surface.  A facade of selflessness cannot hide the contriving persona of the anxious aspirant, so driven by neediness and wanting.  A lot of energy goes into the mask.   Freeing up that blockage is essential, if insights are to flow freely.  In the realm of personhood, presentation, appearance is everything, apparently.  All too important is ‘How I am perceived by others’ but who is concerned with that image?  Keeping up appearances.   The right clothes, the right hat, shoes etc.   ‘How do I look?’  Approval seeking behaviour.  The competitive world of appearances. Judgments and prejudice based on appearance is no stranger in ‘modern times’, the appearance of a fantasy realm of evolving spiritual souls consumed by self-centredness and blind aspirations.

The mask (persona) is like a dream character.    A dream character cannot wake up.   That is obvious but it appears that no one takes it into account. A dream character is not asleep or awake.  A pseudo subject is an apparent state of mind.  A state of mind cannot have a state of mind. There are apparent layers to a dream, yet in reality a dream has no substance, no height, depth or breadth.  From where would one measure from?  Where is the first reference point?

Those who believe that they are a ‘spiritual person’ may imagine themselves to be on a path, a sacred path – but isn’t it obviously nothing but imaging – imagination?   If a child overheard a spiritual person speak of their path, the child may innocently ask ‘where is this path?’   We can dismiss the inquiring mind of a child far too easily.  The dream character on an imaginary path cannot wake up.  It does not want to be questioned.  

There is no option for the dream character to wake up.  Many teachings are based upon the concept that the dreamer can wake up through select methods and practices.   It is just Hocus Pocus.

Awareness registers everything as it is.   The mind is like a juggler, juggling concepts, ideas, beliefs and translations of experiences.  Nothing is static. Awareness has no preference for anything.  There is no entity in awareness.  Awareness is impartial.  Awareness does not need to be purified or trained. The believed in entity is like a toy monkey on a string.  It is not aware, cannot wake up and is completely mechanical.

The senses of seeing, hearing, tasting and touch function perfectly, without words, concepts, ideas or beliefs.  The dream of being a person appears to obscure the senses to some degree due to the attention being focused on the thinking, which is clustering around the fixation of being a person, where everything is ‘relative to me’.  Self-centredness is the belief that at the centre of ‘my life’ is an entity called ‘me’.  It is an invalid reference point. As long as this belief is not investigated, the attention will follow where it has always gone.  

For the believer in me, every experience is referred to me.   Who is it happening to?  Me!  

Generally speaking, no one appreciates just how significant these points are.   Most often, the information is not taken seriously.  It is just too damn uncomfortable to investigate one’s belief in being a ‘person’.  There is a long standing investment in that belief….and if I am not this ‘me’ then how will I live without that belief?  We turn a blind eye.  Is it wise to ignore the obvious?  Once we have recognised that the cause of all of our psychological suffering is due to that belief in me, how can we choose to ignore it?

This is not a matter of taking on some new belief.  In a split second, the belief in me can dissolve.  The relief is indescribable.  

The split second of insight is not something that can be turned into a ‘teaching’.  

There are examples of ‘famous individuals’ who have obviously had a clear insight, such as I have mentioned. Falling for the ‘I am now special’ idea, these individuals can’t share the split second revelation with anyone, so they go about inventing a ‘teaching’ with elaborate methods and practices, which have absolutely nothing to do with the spontaneous insight they experienced.  They tell themselves ‘I have what everyone is looking for’… but they do not recognise that it is only the mind telling them that.  In the scheme of things, seekers are gullible and they believe what they are told, by such ‘famous individuals’.   No one notices that even though there are thousands upon thousands of followers studying the same ‘teaching’, using the same methods, no one succeeds.  Pretenders do show up, imitating the teacher.  A huge business develops and it all gets reduced to ‘hope in tomorrow’ and ‘worship of the teacher’.

The natural state is perfect.  The natural state is wordless and silent. The natural state is not something that can be taught or learned.  There is no need for a teaching.  The natural state has no need of teachers or agents. The natural state is functioning perfectly in everyone and yet, it is ignored by almost everyone. 

The natural state is wordless, silent and perfect just as it is, whether you know it or not.

Why do we ignore it?   Because we focus into the belief in being what we are not.   We are so accustomed to the belief in being a person, we never question it.  ‘Of course I am a person, how ridiculous to suggest I am not!’

Psychological suffering is completely unnecessary.

Apart from one or two, I am yet to meet anyone who truly understands what I write in these posts.  It is not because I am a lousy writer.   The reason is that everyone is so fixated on the belief in me, there isn’t any room for anything of this message to actually register without some automatic psychological resistance.

“What’s in it for me?” is the basic premise of seekers.

Well, there is nothing in it for any me.  The me is a total

  1. As Nisargadatta says…. ‘There are no customers for this knowledge’.

    The activities of seeing and knowing are happening, not to any me, you or I.
    The seeing is seemingly divided by the see-er and the seen.
    The knowing is seemingly divided by the knower and the known.

    The actual functioning is the seeing, the knowing. The labels that we put upon everything, including the seeing and knowing are empty. Through belief, the labels appear to take on a reality that is not real, never was and never will be.

    The natural state is wordless, silent and perfect just as it is, whether you know it or not.

  2. Dear Gilbert
    Why do we ignore it? Because we focus into the belief in being what we are not. We are so accustomed to the belief in being a person, we never question it.
    Seeker keeps doubting itself if not me then who else or what else?
    Seeker doesn’t disappear though there are innumerable teachers shouting with their highest
    ability of sound that it is illusion, imaginary.
    Seeker has to prepare for his next mission to survive in this illusionary but real life for him.
    Seeker ignores truth because it is unable to maintain non-conceptual state.
    There is a flow of thoughts and seeker has his directives in them.
    Seeker is helpless but to follow thoughts.
    There is seeing knowing of all this phenomena but seeker has to take some decisions.
    Though it may seem contradictory with the way as seeing-knowing.
    That split second may arise in some fortunate ones but in seekers life seeking is destined.
    As you say that seeing is divided as seer and seen but the seer may pause thinking for a while but return back to thinking and not in non-conceptual state.
    Seeker may come out of assumptions and belief with best logical answers but seeker doesn’t
    come out of habitual force that thoughts produce.
    Once a teacher replied me if you wish to go with the seekers way then go enjoy and suffer.
    You are not serious enough to understand truth.
    History is repeating again but ignorance remains same.
    Sorry to be so tough but I am not rude.
    What else helpless seeker can do except seeking?

    • In plain English: The SEEKER is a fiction. The seeker does not exist. It has no ability to do anything. You keep assigning attributes to the seeker, instead of SEEING that it is a concept, an image.

      There are no stages, levels. No big Self or little self. All there is, is consciousness (awareness).

      “One Essence expressing & appearing AS everything” – Bob Adamson.

      As soon as the concept of ‘split second’ is introduced, the mind grabs for it….’I want it’. There is no split second. Time is a metal construct. Can you find a mind? Can the mind grasp anything? It is all conceptual.
      With what shall you divided the one? Can you find the one? Unicity or oneness cannot be divided or separated.

      See if you can find a static point anywhere in this universe, space or time.

      No beginning. No end.

  3. Dear Gilbert
    warm regards and love.
    found your post about confusion of entity.
    It is too good.
    It is not like readymade coffee but
    an excercise.
    Seekers like to take excercise So do I.
    I insist just because my aproach should be
    recognised so that it can be corrected.
    I don’t want to pretend That I know what truth is.
    Thank you.

    • Because you believe that you have somehow ‘left home’, all your ‘approaches’ are INVALID.
      You have NEVER left the natural state. Only through belief in mind content, does one attempt to walk on a ‘path’ that reportedly leads back ‘home’.
      The natural state is already present. NO method or practice can return you to the natural state, because you are already THAT….no matter what the mind tells you.
      Over and over, the salient points are outlined and it goes straight over the heads of all who believe that they are a separate entity. The message cannot register cleanly because the resistance, the habit of selecting only what supports the belief in me blocks the way….for the mind. Only through empty mind can the attention recognise its pristine natural stateless state of pure being – concept less being.
      Who has a problem with the message?

  4. ..and still I seek. For relief from this pain and incessant thinking that gives me little rest and sleep.
    I am tired and can do nothing because this thinking IS me. I know of nothing else, nothing to compare it to.
    And so it goes on. By knowing and understanding what is going on doesn’t stop it, because I don’t know what “it” is. Only what others say “it” is…I want it because the seeking never stops, and I can’t stop it. I can’t stop seeking. I can’t. I don’t know how to.

    • “And still I seek?” Is it true or actual? Is the seeking real or imagined? You need to KNOW this without a shadow of a doubt! Pause the thought and recognise that without a concept there is no seeking. There may be a sensation that you label as seeking but let the label dissolve and see what happens to the sensation. The seeking is based on belief in an IDEA that ‘something is missing’ or ‘something is wrong’. All the ‘furniture’ of the mind is borrowed. The naked awareness is like space (mind is a label) is empty like a mirage is empty of water.
      There are self appointed ‘teachers’ who take a stand in some kind of superiority, some kind of ‘knowledge’ that they assume that they ‘have’ but in fact they have nothing and that scares them to death. So they pretend and in the pretending they find some sort of peace, even though it is not real in any way. Some say you are as real as the horizon and they say it with such a pretentious attitude of superior knowledge it almost make you want to vomit all over them. Their attitude is ‘I know’ with the implication that ‘you need to know what I know’. ‘I will TEACH you what I know’. Well frankly, whatever it is that they have, it is more like a virus in the mind than anything worthy of being called ‘objective knowledge’, if such a thing exists. If you think something exists, does it make it real? No!
      No matter what anyone says and no matter what you believe….you are and can only be reality itself! Not what you think you are. What you actually are, in reality, is reality.
      All the conceptual additions to the basis, this pure being, are unnecessary and mostly misleading. Concepts lead to more concepts ad infinitum.
      If you must have a teacher, find one who speaks with an ordinary voice in ordinary language, without the conceited facade of ‘teacher’, which is so common, it is accepted as something true. Their presentation is more like a door to door sale man. ‘I can selling you something very special – so, believe in ME’. They need your belief to support their ‘mission’ which is a self-serving addiction and the personality is infected with their self-obession, even though they SAY that the ‘me’ is an illusion like the horizon. Nothing could be further from the truth than a self appointed prophet, a ‘teacher’, who is so obviously full of themselves, they can’t recognise their own ridiculous mind games of superiority that they are stuck with. Their blind insistence that they are right and you are wrong is obvious like the balls on a bulldog. They smile like a sneaky cat that has swallowed a mouse on the sly. The lack of being actually genuine is so obvious but they will defend their projected image and egoism with vigour and tenacity. Who will challenge these pretenders, on their utter bull-shite mind game? Who cares? The ego of these specimens is the illusion of daring to pretend to be what one is not and wallowing in the deceitful mind game. If they can convince someone, anyone, that they are knowledgable, they are delighted and praise their new found devotee
      All and everything is sensation. How your mind interprets the sensations is secondary to the actual sensation. A thought is a sensation, fresh and new. The spontaneous nature of this livingness is ever-fresh and new. Nothing actually repeats itself. The spontaneous nature of intelligence is equal to the spontaneous nature of this immediate appearance we call the manifestation. Each moment is the immediacy, without beginning or end, spontaneously without any limits of so-called ‘time’. Without any concept and without any concept of ‘division’ one can spontaneously recognise that the activity of knowing is not separated into ‘I know’ and ‘the known’.

      All there is, is seeing-knowing, ever fresh and new. Insight is non-conceptual, wordless and silent.
      Pure being is perfect in everyone. There are no superior beings or inferior beings. There is only Being.
      The horizon is apparently a mysterious metaphor but it is nothing of the kind. It appeals to tricky dicky types who love to pretend to know the mystery behind everything. Conjurors!
      The appearance, the entire manifestation, is appearing to be. All is equal. Anyone who pushes a boundary onto you via their self-centred obsession with themselves (as a saviour) is to be pitied, because they have swallowed the bait of belief in being someone very special. Some extreme cases even entertain a belief that they are official custodians of a lineage, a ‘teaching’ with their false documents to prove it. What a load of bollocks! It only proves how gullible THEY are.

  5. Some more stuff for me to read and digest!
    Thank you..I’ll get back to you.

    • Everything is sensation. Thoughts are sensation. Thinking about this is sensation. Can you get behind the sensation? Only conceptually can you imagine a realm behind sensation. Sensation registers immediately upon no thing (pure awareness) and there cannot be any separation. ‘Time’ appears to divide and separate apparent events and sensations. Time is a concept. The immediacy of sensation leaves an apparent trace in memory – but memory can only appear as the immediacy of sensation. The mind interprets the sensations into a secondary synthetic ‘sensation’ or ‘account’ of apparent separate experiences while the uninterrupted sensation remains undivided. Sensation is without pause or intervals. The universe is composed of galaxies, stars, planets and many other heavenly ‘bodies’….space is the vehicle of it all and space is one, without a second. In the quietude of empty mind, the sensations appear as a ‘flow’ without stops. Conceptualising is like nodules in the flow. In the mind’s translation there are nodes and intervals consistently appearing and it is this realm of conceptualisation that the average ‘being’ takes to be reality. Just like an echo of your voice in a deep valley, the original sound remains intact even though it ‘appears’ to mix in the atmosphere with its own echo. One can discern the original from its echo. Memory is like an echo – it can never be the original. You cannot actually (re)live a moment in the past. All there is is the immediacy, no matter what the mind ‘does’ with the original, the true essence. You are the original. What you think you are is a synthesised re-presentation, which can never reach ‘back’ into its own origins.

  6. ‘Who is going to give it to you and what are you going to get ‘

    Thanks Gilbert !

    • Basically people do NOT understand each other, except in a approximate way, which is so rudimentary, it is only good for very simple exchanges. As soon as emotion is involved ‘meaning’ is turned into a maze of convoluted patterns that no one could fathom.
      We imagine that other understand us and when they say ‘I know exactly what you mean’, we accept it as true and even feel good that someone understands us. The conflict between nations is even more complex because of vast cultural differences and the people of one nation cannot understand the people of another nation or how they value life in a very different way, or not.

  7. Gilbert,

    You make a very good point. But I have to wonder – what keeps you going on this blog? I ask this sincerely. Aren’t you motivated by the desire to pass on your “special knowledge”?

    As I immerse deeper into the non-duality understanding, I find I have less and less motivation to speak or write. The feeling of self-esteem/self-importance is just not at the level to sustain me. Therefore I find it strange that so many non-dual teachers can be so wordy – they write books, do satsangs and lengthy interviews – all the while urging us to get beyond ‘concepts’and abandon ourselves.

    That being said – I do, however, from time to time catch myself showing-off my second-hand Advaita knowledge or parroting lines from books to make an impression. However, I am usually aware when this happens.

    I started a blog on non-duality, but after a few posts I just could not carry on. I could see that this mind-body was trying to set itself up as someone special.

    So back to my question – how do you find the motivation, if there is nobody home to be motivated. Again, I ask this sincerely.

    • First of all, I keep pointing out that the ‘person’ is an illusion but it is as though no one can cope with that ‘pointer’ because they believe they are a person. The very thought of ‘Death’ is the thing that shakes the identified patterns, with the potentiality of revealing the illusion of me, but the courage (essence of being) is too weak to stand up to the illusion of ‘death’. I KNOW that the person is not reality. Naturally in society many assign ‘me’ with personhood (in themselves and others) and they add concepts to ‘my apparent entity’.
      Why do I keep posting? I have no idea. I have nothing to say. Its spontaneous mostly. Maybe I post because I see so much crap offered to seekers and I also see example regularly of seekers who are so full of traditional, second hand beliefs, I sense it is right that something is offered that does not require belief. Another angle is that I know without a doubt that psychological suffering is not necessary. I have witnessed is vanish (in myself) and not come back. I see evidence of individuals suffering. In a limited way I may engaged with some and point out a few ‘truths’ in a very ordinary way. There are a few cases where what I have said to them has ‘turned on a light’ and a life is turned around. A dream faded into the emptiness. Nothing happened and no one to take credit for anything. Innately we all understanding and that essence understanding is natural perfect, even if you believe it is faulty. It is wordless and silent. Actual wisdom, not intellectually contrived information!
      There is no such thing as an enlightened individual, unless we are talking about the totality, wholeness of being and what appears to be.
      Inspiration comes naturally as does expiration. Ever fresh is the essential nature. All you think you know is related to the me of memory, a fiction. If you look around (right now) without putting labels onto ‘things’ you may recognise that you understand what everything is. Ordinary understanding. As soon as the ego enters the equation, the interference pattern fragments into a ‘personal world’ which is the illusion (Maya).
      Natural understanding is perfect in everyone…..but it is ignored by those seduced by their own intellect. The so-called understanding of the intellect is not understanding at all. Re-presentations of ‘truth’ are not truth. Anyway, words fail. Maybe someone gets the gist of the message. Who cares? I am no guru and frankly I don’t give a toss about seekers. Chickens with their heads lopped off, running around dropping feathers all over the farm. Crazy chicken head-less seekers. Smile! Be happy. Don’t worry. Stop being so serious.

  8. i am the headless chicken who on discovery of this blog all my eggs cracked. The ‘yoke’ that is pointed to here, which can never be replaced or consumed by anyone, is a lot more palatable (now) compared to the chicken feed ‘I’ pecked at, in the farm retreats and battery houses run by a few colourful cocks a crowing and birds of prayin’ !
    All this a self-centred bias of course but who the f….k cares! It cannot be described accurately enough – how wonderful and Carefree it is and how insignificant yet significant I am ….

    • What most do not understand is that language is not exact. ‘People’ do not use language in any exact way and so-called communication is extremely approximate. We assume to understand each other because we use the same language. With my posts there is an effort to be more or less clear with the choice of words but the writing is spontaneous. Errors may need to be corrected. If only I could actually tell what is understood…..and if only someone was clear enough in being, to understand. Mostly folk are full of their own thoughts and interpretations. ‘You think you understand what I said but what I said was not what I meant’.
      Intent and meaning. Do you really understand what intent means? What meaning means?

  9. As understanding is spontaneous than intention and meaning are fictional .’i’ read the blogs everyday , on reading a recognition 0ccurs and or a resolution of thought brings about a disillusion of time .

    When engaging with ‘others’ intention and meaning are reflexes in the appearance of the fictional characters me and you . With no self centre insight and only ‘being ‘ in reality where is intention and meaning ?

    If I think I am chopping wood I got out to get the axe with the intention of chopping the wood and SO I THINK , I am chopping the wood . The thought is not chopping the wood however the wood is being chopped as it is happening and not by the thought I am chopping it !

  10. The mind cannot grasp what is beyound its capabilities . There is a zone where mind cannot go . Both the mind and the zone are concepts . Truth is only a concept when we talk about it but in its essence it is prior to concepts .
    What stops mind from graphing and desiring truth ?

  11. Knowing and not knowing are the same! Mind is not interested in true understanding, it generally just wants an answer!

    ‘We’ are all illusive members of the ‘Bonzo dog do dah band’.

  12. Gilbert wrote: “The senses of seeing, hearing, tasting and touch function perfectly, without words, concepts, ideas or beliefs… There is a long standing investment… and if I am not this ‘me’ then how will I live without that belief?… Once we have recognised that the cause of all of our psychological suffering is due to that belief in me, how can we choose to ignore it? This is not a matter of taking on some new belief. In a split second, the belief in me can dissolve. The relief is indescribable.”

    Your writing is very lucid on some points. But it is only subtraction of some false ideas. Yes, that will produce some worthwhile states such as the relief you describe. But it seems that your cosmology ends there. Things like “relief” and “the senses… function perfectly…” constitute a rather lame goal and imply a rather lame cosmology. Perhaps people don’t want to drop false beliefs because they don’t see how that fits in with the big picture. Just pointing out to perfectly functioning senses is insufficient.

    In Hindu terminology, I think you are pointing to Brahman and ignoring or devaluing Atman. We are not just Brahman (pure awareness) we are also Atman, which involves individuality and potential. By continuing to point to Brahman, you are creating a belief that we are only that.

    Anyway, what is your cosmology? Given that you are supposedly at the pinnacle of human development and understanding, can you tell us about life, the universe and everything post-enlightenment? Perhaps you can make a new blog post so that we get an idea of how things like relief and perfect functioning of the senses, or whatever your goal is, fits into the big picture.

    • Thank you for the questions and challenges.
      Mankind has always attempted to find some understanding through constructing conceptual re-presentations of the world and its apparent meaning. Nothing wrong with that. The ‘problem’ is that reality or truth can never be reduced to a formula or construct of any kind. Something the re-presents something else cannot be what it represents. A word is never the thing it re-presents.
      What are words? Subtle vibrations, unspoken or spoken.
      Cosmology is a conceptual construct imposed upon ‘what is’. Reality as I use the term is defined as: That which does not change.
      I do not ascribe to any particular cosmology, however most ideas around cosmology, found in many cultures are interesting.
      Names and labels, words and concepts are limited. The infinite being or universal consciousness, cosmic consciousness has to be your true identity. You could not be separate from That, which is. Your identity cannot be a product of thinking. The pseudo subject is a seeming product of conception, in mind but everything that appears in mind is transitory. The mind is constantly changing as content but the essence of mind, awareness, does not change.
      The senses are functioning perfectly. It is a good place to start. The senses are not conceptual constructs. The senses relate to the 3 dimensional existence, that we cannot get out of. The conceptualised realm that many believe, by default, they live in, is without an actual centre and is more related to imagination or two dimensions – there is always something lacking. Wholeness of wisdom is absent – so it seems.
      Yes, many creatures have senses that are operating beyond the limits of our senses and some with less scope. Reality does not change due to the apparatus that perceives. If it did, it would not be reality.
      As for berating my audience. If there is a desire to come to some understanding one must get past the sense of being offended. The believed in entity, so prevalent is ‘spiritual people’ is a fancy fiction, which prevents them from realising their true nature. The love approach taken by most teachers is admirable but it stinks of manipulation. There are an increasing number of examples of gurus and teachers who have blatantly taken advantage of their wide eyed followers. My gruff presentation is a sure way to prevent anyone from wanting to be a follower of mine. Yes, it brings with it a certain ‘reputation’ but I am not concerned with what anyone thinks of me.
      Reality is clear and obvious to everyone, whether they know it or not. What the mind translates reality or truth into depends on culture, language and every word you use has been learned. Intelligence is present ‘before’ the first words were learned. Intelligence was, is and will always be a pristine ‘facilitator’, like an invisible force that suffuses all things, all action and every movement of (apparent) matter. So-called ‘natural selection’ is a concept put upon the life force, as if it was an entity that can choose.
      All of our problems are problems of identity and boundary. The imagined boundaries merge into the identity and the concept of being separate collapses. There is no entity anywhere. That information, my friend, is too much for most to bare.
      There is no pinnacle of human development.
      If you perceive a problem, then you have a problem. Therefore, take caution is what you believe is real. Without fail, what you believe will betray you because reality is beyond the capacity of the intellect.
      Only the whole being can resonate with the wholeness of what is, because that is what it is (you are).
      Limitless consciousness may appear to be unbearable from a limited point of view (me). The energy that appears as a resistance can collapse at any moment. You know not when, you know not where or how – yet all there ever IS, is right here, right now.