Correspondence happens.

Question via email:

Hallo Gilbert, I have some questions. When I boil it all down and just ask myself “What am I?”, I find I have no answer.  Of course I can say – this body, a father, an engineer, a citizen of a particular nation but I know these are all just my outward “appearances”, what I’ve come to be.  This is all I can say.

I find that this question delineates the outside from the inside – the “outside” answers are all obvious.  The “inside” is what my mind doesn’t seem to be able to see.  I don’t understand what I’m supposed to see or answer to the question “what am I?” other than that which appears as “my” life.

The mind seems to give up or get frustrated at that which is apparently not obviously there.  What comes to me is – the mind is trying to objectify that which is inherently subjective.  But the door or the key, “What am I?” just seems to be another concept.

Something that immediately drew me to your words was “the Absolute Moment” or “the Timeless Moment.”  I can somehow feel that this is true, that this moment is the same moment as the first moment, and the contents of that moment are changing but the moment doesn’t.  In other words, there is no past or future, things aren’t rolling to the past with the future coming soon.  It’s all still the same moment.  I get that somehow.

If “I” or this mind can’t see it or experience it, how is it known?  How can “awareness” know itself without the mind being involved?

I greatly appreciate your time and willingness to help. – B.


Reply: Many years ago, I started to write notes in a blank book.  One of the insights that hit me was the unmistakable recognition that awareness is timeless.  Those notes were published a couple of years later as a book which I titled ‘The First (and only) Instant’.      (The book still sells slowly (as an e-book) but it is too blunt and direct for most folk)

You ask “How can “awareness” know itself without the mind being involved?”   Awareness does not need to know anything.  Awareness is self-aware.  No subject, no object.  Everything is awareness appearing as patterns.  No object appearing is anything other than awareness – however, no object is aware.  Awareness is self-aware……not a self that is aware.  The words ‘self-aware’ are used in the sense the words ‘self-adhesive’ are used.  Awareness is not a projector of anything.  There is nothing behind awareness.  Everything is is awareness without anything ever being something separate.  As long as you take yourself to be a subject or object in the mind, then ‘involvement’ will play the same old song.  If the seeking turns into an obsession, it will drive you mad – so it is imperative that you don’t see through it.

You, as a believed in separate entity, cannot experience anything at all.  The mind translates the pure experiencing into ‘an experience’ via the idea of ‘me’, the experiencer, which is a fabrication of mind.  You cannot objectively know what you are, as an object, as a subject nor as a thing.  As I pointed out previously, the ‘I’ is a word.   ‘In the beginning was the word’.  Reality has no beginning or end.

Thoughts are subtle vibrations, patterns appearing.  When spoken they are sound, less subtle.  The mind will keep trying to objectify everything, even the clear and subtle insights that come, apparently in order to gain some substance for the identified ‘subject’, me.

Whatever appears to come must also go.  Reality does not come or go.  The definition of reality is that which never changes.  All phenomena changes, so all phenomena is not reality.  What can you postulate outside of phenomena or sensation?  No thing!

You are that which never changes – but you will never know it as an object and the mind uses comparisons.  It compares this against that and ‘comes to conclusions’ but all conclusions appear and disappear.

So, the clear and present evidence that ‘I am looking for’ is already clear and obvious and it does not move or change – so, because the mind is dualistic, the ‘answer’ remains a mystery for the mind, because it is no thing.

The mind cannot sit still because its nature is a movement.  Movement is nothing without stillness.  Stillness is nothing without movement.

What is real? All of it – and none of it.   You have to be reality to know reality… and all the fabricated ‘seeking truth’ is a fiction.

This timeless Moment of pure being is the Absolute.  There is no other. 

This timeless singularity appears as this moment and it is seemingly fragmented into time lines and space patterns.

Where does it appear?

Nowhere else than in this clear and empty space of knowing-presence (I am) – and that is what you ARE.

As the body is there, there will be an apparent ‘identity’ called ‘I’.  It is a sense appearing in the pre-sense.  Presence.

Look into it and see through it as often as you can it will be seen to be a living translucence, totally transparent.

An appearance has no power of its own – it has no independent substance or nature (no self nature) and is certainly not a separate entity.

Not knowing that it all slides into a ‘personal hell’, a personal realm of suffering.

Be ruthless and see that everything is an appearance in what you ARE. Intelligence responds to intelligence. The contrived seeker responds to the contrived ‘teacher’.

Spirituality is all BS but no one wants to hear that because it is too confronting. Everyone wants to go through a process and have a ‘gradual awakening’. The rude fact is that no awakening is possible.  Wakefulness is already present and it can NEVER be a subject or an object.



1 Comment
  1. Everyone has the capacity to see and know the truth of their own being. Nothing obscures awareness. It is the ‘personal agenda’ that gets in the way. Few are willing to give up their personal agenda, so seekers carry on, year after year, going in circles and suffering waves of frustration and it all amounts to zero. The resistance to the direct message is massive, in the appearance of things.